Being Asian American in the Healing Arts - AAPI Heritage Month

It still makes me very uncomfortable to this day to call myself someone who works in the ‘healing arts’ and to even think that rendering this kind of servicing is how I make a living. I’m getting better at saying it aloud and owning what I do, but for me, it’s an ongoing battle in my mind and a constant question of integrity in my heart.

According to the Healing Arts Collective, “healing arts is an umbrella term for any type of treatment, practice, or method that uses the body’s natural ability to restore or maintain a healthy, holistic balance throughout the physical body.”

So by that definition, yes, I technically do fall under that service category.

Despite working with folks for the last few years, I still feel very uncomfortable and often embarrassed to classify myself as such even though I genuinely love every moment of what I do.

You’d think my sheer joy and understanding that I come from generations of servicing, teaching, engaging in very rooted practices, and intentionally choosing where & how I want to concentrate my ‘eastern-based’ education/practices, that I’d feel more at home. But somehow, there are still moments where I feel fraudulent and scared that I’m doing a disservice not only to the practices, but also to my own family and community.

Perhaps its years of watching Asian-based practices get white-washed, erased, and distilled into superficial fixes. Seeing people totally profit off of age-old knowledge by branding it as something new. Maybe there’s a tinge of anger and shame still leftover from childhood where we had to go to school smelling ‘weird’ from Tiger Balm or worse, looking like we were beaten because of cạo gió (aka gua sha) markings on our backs and being afraid that the cultural misunderstanding could mean our parents being reported to CPS and taken away from us.

Or maybe all those years of historical imperialism, colonization & cultural pressure telling me that a ‘proper education & job’ is how I become a contributing & worthy member of society. That answering questions at traditional community gatherings like “what do you do?” presents judgmental looks from elders as if I was a disrespectful & misguided child of my parents.

In many ways, I’ve come to terms with these thoughts and situations. They will always be a part of me, and I will continually need to contemplate.

I'm not here to police practices and pass too much judgement on the way people do things as long as it’s not harmful, at the bare minimum. I understand that making a living wage under the ‘healing arts’ umbrella is very difficult for a lot of folks and sometimes to keep going, you have to play the game…(now, erasure, appropriation, and denigration is another topic which I think carries an extra layer of energy and karma but I think that’s another blog to write altogether).

What I’ve learned in the short time of being in this space (only really started practicing in 2019) is that what you see is not always true, and as fellow practitioners we need to try and support one another because I believe that a majority of the healing arts practitioners are genuinely wanting to help and support others.

And for those of us in the AAPI community, I think we also play this unusual diasporic role when it comes to preserving and continuing certain practices & observations.

While I do greatly respect other healing practices around the world, I choose to lean more in practices rooted in Asia because I personally feel connected and grounded in that way. It’s where I feel the teachings and wisdom come through and to me most clearly.

At the same time, there’s always a question of ‘authenticity’ in the way I think or do certain things. Usually, I am a little bit more flexible to accomodate an undeniable existence outside of Asia.

For many of us first, second, third, etc. generation Asian Americans, the layers of being away from our mother land brings about confusion in our identity and how we see ourselves operating. While we want to continue certain rites and rituals, many of us don’t know how to do it or how we can observe it in a way that rings true.

A lot of my deeper understanding of teachings came later on in my life. It came from institutions that taught in English because I couldn’t fully pick it up at the Buddhist temple as a kid even though I was heavily involved there the majority of my childhood (did Buddhist Youth Group, went to Vietnamese School, etc.)

While I’m able to speak Vietnamese, it still hurts me when I hear the rigidity of the way I speak, and the slowness to find the right words to express complicated thoughts.

But there is a beautiful beacon of light that I do see.

When I speak to other AAPI practitioners or just anyone in the AAPI community who wants to continue certain traditions, it’s really cool and beautiful to see that we are all figuring out how we can continue to learn and pass on these stories, wisdom, and practices down as best as we can and in a way that rings true.

We live in a crazy modern world where old teachings, principles, and practices are also now needing to be adapted. While I still believe that much of our ancient stories and wisdom applies to the human condition, it needs to be critiqued and applied in newer ways to fit, make sense, and be heard in our world.

I guess to end this whole thing…

Being an Asian American in the Healing Arts is an ongoing journey.

What I understand now, may not be the same in the future. For me, as I continue my study and my work, my intention is to move with as much integrity of the wisdom and practices that has come before me. I will fuck up. I will misunderstand. But I will continue to study, learn, and move with love and integrity to the best of my abilities.